It seems the busier that I get, the more I neglect things that I once deemed important. I find myself constantly screaming at myself inside of my head to stay the course; to finish what I've started. Unfortunately, the more I focus on tying loose ends, the more that I am staring at unfinished tapestries of what I thought my life would be by now.
Don't get me wrong; I get things done. I set goals and I achieve them. Just not in the order I have intended.
I spend a lot of time reading and revising countless projects, be it The Nemesis Diary or a snippet of a song or prose I cannot complete. Part of me wonders if I will ever be truly finished with this game of cat and mouse that I play with my grown-up life and my creative counter-balance.
But things change.
For one, I feel my vision is clearing. Literally. No, seriously, I had surgery on my eyes and I see better. Apparently I've been seeing things between 20/50 and 20/70 for quite some time. I elected to receive Lasik surgery in place of playing the glasses/contacts game. I have nothing against them, but I felt they weren't the right direction for me. I have been walking around without seeing things as they should be for a while.
I am starting to see I was missing some important things. My physical body was way ahead of my inner scope. Hopefully, this begins a domino effect. I have people in my life that have been neglected but not forgotten. I have friends that I love dearly who I have not spoken a word to in far too long. I have things I need to accomplish that I have left on the back burner.
I am not ok with that.
I'm far from perfect, and I don't pretend to be. But I'm tired of making excuses. I have decided to do something about the scraps of paper that permeate my office and the post-it notes inside of my head. I need more than listening to the voice in my head. Thought without action is willingly accepting your situation.
Let's just say I'm seeing things a little more clearly now.