Thursday, August 20, 2009

Is deprivation = to massochism?

I am one stubborn dude. Many of you already know this. I've been walking to the beat of my own drum my whole life, and I always will. Recently I've decided that I have a few problems I'd like to take care of. This is my blog describing these issues and the reason behind them.

1. I am 10 pounds heavier than I was last year at this time. That puts me at almost 20 pounds heavier than I was in high school. This does not sit well with me. I have always been rather proud of my physique, and I've kind of let it go a bit. I decided to change this. I have begun a rather vigorous training regiment, much of it revolving around Wii Fit. This sounds silly but that game kicks your butt! I have also started running...RUNNING! I also have decided to let go of soda for a while. I'll elaborate in a minute. So far I've started losing, so I feel pretty good about that.

2. Soda is my favorite, especially Mountain Dew or Cherry Coke; Dr. Pepper and regular Coke are also very good. I probably drink 5 or 6 cans of something a day, which translates into around 550-600 calories per day. Therefore, I've decided to kick it for a while. I don't know how long I'll go, but I will give it a shot for at least a week. This is more about proving that I don't need it than losing weight. I've always said the world wouldn't be safe if I was off the juice, and so I've hesitated. Well kids, I'm 4 days into sucks! I have never wanted a drink so bad in my life! But I haven't killed far...and I have done pretty well for the most part. I feel a bit more focused at work, even if my brain isn't firing quite as fast as I'm used to. The really messed up thing is that it's ruined what's left of my sleeping patterns. You'd think with zero caffeine you'd sleep better; I've had a horrible time! I'm even on sleeping pills and I can't sleep! UGH! However, I do feel myself getting used to the idea.

I'll post if anything dramatic happens, but we'll just have to see. I will say this though; I feel a fire inside of me that I haven't felt for a while. Man your battle stations; this is war.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Things You Shouldn't Say or Ask an LMT and more...

There are a number of things that are very interesting about my career; the stigmas, the news stories about people acting on those stigmas, and some of the most uncomfortable situations imaginable. I've decided to shed some light on some of those things. This will hopefully clear some things up about the massage world for those 'massage virgins' out there.

1. Never EVER refer to a Licensed Massage Therapist as a 'masseuse.' Masseuse entails sexual favors in addition to (more often than not) lackluster massage skills. I suppose there are LMT's out there that do these outright illegal things, and they give us a bad name. There have been a number of massage parlors shut down for this lately, and they shame me...

2. Having a male massage therapist does not guarantee a deeper, rougher massage than having a 90 pound girl would give. In school, I got my trash kicked by said girl, and I love to tell people that. It's not about size or muscle; what we do is about body weight and leverage. Do not let anyone tell you different.

3. We do not use our chins to massage...ever! One of my teachers in school had someone ask her if she was using her chin! She was working on the guy's butt too! First of all, gross. Secondly, that really wouldn't work seeing as you can't get any leverage whatsoever. So really, that just doesn't work.

4. Yes, I have had people fart in my face. My wife has had someone poop their pants on the table. There are other things that probably shouldn't be mentioned in this public forum, but yes, gross stuff happens. We pretty much ignore it, so it's not really that big of a deal...

5. Sometimes we really DON'T want to talk about some of the drama in your life...Your daughter's sexuality is definitely one of those things (yes, I've been there). Other things I wouldn't bring up would be anything sexual of any kind, your wild days of drug use and alcoholism, or, especially for me, please don't tell me all of your political views and how much you love or hate Obama. I'll be honest; I DON'T REALLY CARE.

6. It is actually very entertaining to see people's reaction to my telling them what I do. I get a variety of looks, questions, and of course, the lean. The lean, as I've mentioned in previous blogs, is when someone starts rubbing a specific joint or muscle and says "Oh really? Because I've been hurting a lot in this area." and proceeds to lean in as a subtle hint to work on them. We hate this. We know most of the time you are half-kidding, but we get it A LOT. So, I have come up with a great response to this..."Well, my rates our 50 an hour. My number is ____. Give me a call and we'll set something up." I have been pleased with the results.

This has been kind of a random one eh? I hope you enjoyed the read. Yes, I love what I do. But as you have come to notice, I need a little rant here and there.