Saturday, February 21, 2009

A poison has taken me...

Often in my life, I get strange looks for talking to myself. I enjoy telling people that I am just trying to inspire the little tiny rock band in my head to write better music. Unfortunately, I am a perfectionist in the extreme variety, so they often fall short. In the end, I see it more as myself falling short, because I strongly doubt my little band was able to squeeze a bass drum through my auditory canal.

I'm quite frustrated at the moment. I can write lyrics, but they all end up falling short as I try and add them to music. I have my show next week, which makes me nervous by itself. I always like having at least 2 new songs per show, and I honestly haven't finished even 1 since the end of the year. Maybe it's writer's block...but maybe I'm just uninspired.

At least once a year, I end up hitting a point that I wish I could avoid. I just become apathetic, and the only thing that seems to matter at all is that nothing seems to phase me one way or another. I watched the new Friday the 13th movie, loved it, and by the time I was home, I felt empty again. Being inside my own head really sucks sometimes.

Let's see...Maybe I can find something to talk about that I at least half care about...A ha! My friend John Allred is re-releasing his first album, Some Place New, in April. He's made some changes and I can hardly wait! Unfortunately, that's still 2 months away.

Maybe what's really bothering me is that I can't make sense of the voices in my head. Some are screaming at me to pull out my electric Ibanez and rattle the windows...but then others are pleading with me to write a ballad that would mean as much to others as it does to myself. That's been something I've always struggled with; writing something less personal and more universal.

Sorry this is kind of a downer. I'm trying to vent out my frustrations, but even now I just don't care. If anyone knows the antidote to apathy, let me know.


  1. Losing what you care about wakes you up. But you don't want to get to that point. Find inspiration in the little things in life.try to remember what you have forgotten. I probably am not making any sense. I have writer's block myself. I can't write poetry anymore. Not since high school. The good stuff only comes put when I'm depressed. I don't know why.

  2. I find with my writing if I stress about it too much I can't do it. I just have to take a minute (or maybe a LOT of minutes) and remind myself that it's all for me more than anyone else. I hope your find your muse soon!