Tornado of Souls

The winds of change are blowing, and life is extremely interesting. One of my favorite songs is Tornado of Souls by Megadeth. In the end, that's all life is; a violent maelstrom of ups and downs. I have found peace in the chaos as of late...despite how painful adaptation can be.

I have had a very interesting few months. I have been working like crazy, trying to maintain a regular sleep schedule (failed!), and trying to balance all of my spinning plates...Needless to say, it's been difficult. But anyone that knows me knows that I don't back down from challenging situations. However, little things like blogging and recording often suffer.

I love what I do. I have been a massage therapist for over 2 years now, and I still enjoy doing the work. The beautiful thing is that I don't actually have to be doing the work to enjoy it. I love that when I am in the classroom as a TA, I get to share my love for my work with future massage therapists. Students tend to be a little painful at times, and yes, there are some interesting people who go to massage school, but I love it all the same. My life has been greatly enriched by some of the people I have met and I've also made some incredible friendships with the teachers that I work for. I have had my biggest class load ever this last term, and I've realized just how much I love being there.

We finally moved! Yay! I don't live in a crappy apartment with squishy walls, leaky windows, and broken doorknobs anymore! We've moved in to a basement apartment in Orem, complete with 3 bedrooms, internet, and cable! Let me just say that DVRs are quite possibly the best inventions EVER.

I have found myself struggling mentally over the past little while. That's not really a new thing for me, but it's to a point now that I am getting concerned. I find myself obsessing over little insignificant things that often lead to a horrific night of not sleeping. I have done a bit of research, and it turns out a lot of insomniacs are treated for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I laughed at first, but the wheels have kept turning in my head. I'm starting to wonder if it might be a valid argument for my lack of sleep. Don't get me wrong; I don't freak about washing my hands 1000 times a day or have to have all my clothes color coordinated in reverse alphabetical order...but there are things that I have to check several times a night and things that irritate me if they are out of place. Interesting thought.

I have come to realize just how much I don't know about myself. I spend most of my days watching and evaluating the general public's posture and walking habits, yet I don't take much time for introspection on myself. I consider my inner self a dangerous and foreign person; volatile, manipulative, secretive...apparently, I think I'm a ninja inside :) But keeping yourself in check isn't always a good thing. I've always had a hard time trusting anyone but myself, and a lot of my personal experiences have driven that antitrust even deeper. I find myself wearing the proverbial masks on a daily basis. I wonder just how many people really know me...Who sees through the cracks in the porcelain? Can I?

My blogs are a little erratic...but hopefully this one is semi-relevant.

PS. Batman is so much better than Superman. I've been arguing with a good friend of mine about this, and, since I posted it on my blog, I win. Don't bother arguing. Accept it. It's cold hard fact.